Gone Too Soon

It's been over a month since Michael Jackson has died, which I am very saddened about. Since then even more conspiracy has surfaced: "Who will have the guardian ship of his kids?", "Did he really have vitiligo?", "Was he the biological father of his 3 children?", "Who is Omer Bhatti?", "Jordy Chandler has confessed 'I lied'.", "Where is Michael's body?", "What really killed him and/or WHO?", and there's lots more...

People still haven't left him alone, even in his death. A lot are going around saying he was a paedophile, a skin-changing monster, and many more. Those type of things being said about him really bother me. It's crazy, people are now targeting him in their jokes even more. I won't even mention the jokes because it hurts to even say, god I can't actually post them on my blog! But there have been many great fans, doing all sort of tributes or just simply recognizing all the good things that he has done. So I congratulate them also. Whether they were fans ever since they could remember or just recently. But an even bigger 'thanks' goes out to those fans who have defended him for the whole time and knew that he was innocent and encouraged him throughout everything.

Yes, I might be a little hypocritical about the situation. I've been a bigger and a better fan after his death more than I have been during his life. I'm sorry, okay!? But sometimes you don't realize things until they are gone. Though I really don't remember making fun of him and believing that he was a child molester. I was too young to really make up my mind or even know. I've been told that it's been reported that he bleached himself and that he underwent many plastic surgeries, that's really all that I could know. But I also knew his music and his dancing and how much he has not only contributed to the entertainment world but to the world itself. He donated to many charities. He even wanted to adopt two kids (a girl and a boy) from each continent, he wanted to adopt twenty different children around the world and give them all the love that they needed, but of course that couldn't happen when the lawsuits came in to charge him for something he didn't do.

I don't buy it that he has done anything inappropriate to those kids. If he really did he wouldn't say that "It's okay to share your bed with children..." no actual child molester would say that! Sure it sounds a little weird, if just any other 43 year-old man came and said "let me share my bed with you", it would creep me out. But Michael was too good to do such thing to children. I don't know what it was about Michael, I think you could trust him and you could really hear it in his voice which was very soft, almost childlike.

He had to compensate, as he always said, for the childhood that he practically never had. At such a young age, perhaps when he was eight, he and his four brothers (aka the Jackson 5) were beaten on the way to fame by their father Joe Jackson, who refuses of doing so. Shame on him, it's one of the reasons Michael died. He felt lonely and tired of all the pressure. Even more pressure has been brought on his shoulders for the "This Is It" 50 dates tour.

Now maybe the kids weren't biologically his, but he truly loved them and that's what matters most. I think we shouldn't throw things at Debbie Rowe anymore, since Michael has said it himself "My children were a gift to me from her. She knew that I wanted children," but now she's tried to step up, so she'll at least get visits to Prince and Paris. Blanket? It's been speculating that Omer Bhatti's mother is the surrogate mother of Blanket. To be honest I can't say that I'm a 100% sure that all three kids are biologically his but I'm actually more sure that Blanket is his than the other two. And Omer Bhatti? I don't even want to go into that, really I don't know. I mean Michael would have to put him into his will.

I remember when I was 5, I saw his video clip for "You Rock My World" god! I was amazed, I had got a celebrity crush on Michael Jackson. It was so weird, each time the video came on someone was in the room, so I couldn't react, I tried to keep a straight face on. Haha. But the crush didn't last for too long, the video was rarely shown, so I moved on?

Lately, I've been really inspired by his performances, stage movements and everything. It's hard not to dance to his music or try and imitate one of his moves during dancing.

We've really lost someone! I know that we should have just as much of respect and sympathy for any deceased person so I really hope that their souls are doing fine like the numerous people who have died in wars, or died of hunger and had no where to live, or from diseases, or from comminting suicides, too.

This post is dedicated to all the great people that have lived. Michael Jackson's one of them.

Rest In Peace

Michael Jackson

1958 - 2009

But some say "1958 - forever"

PS.: If you really disagree, I don't want to hear it.

-VALy, <3

Has anyone noticed?

That the three main judges from three different American talent (either singing or dancing or both plus more) shows are British and mean. Although it's certainly a "DUH!" thing that Simon Cowell definitely deserves the "Most painful judge" award out of the three. But I'll admit that he's softening up and starting to smile more. I think they all are starting to get a bit more sympathetic. Actually that's probably too big of a word for them but I'm hoping that you get the point.

Sometimes I do enjoy their judging though. Like Nigel Lythgoe this season on SYTYCD is a joy, so far. Not too many of those memorably heartbreaking comments from him up to this date from the start of season 5. Let's hope that he can keep it up.

-VALy, <3

The Confessions of a Shopaholic

Just saying, if you want to watch this movie, don't watch it on the Internet. I've tried watching this movie with a friend and then later by myself and I just couldn't wait for it to be done. When I start watching a movie and try to give it a chance and then it gets to the middle, I must finish it. Well, that's how I feel.

It was quite boring to watch (especially on the Internet, knowing that you're sitting there in front of a computer screen watching something that almost puts you to sleep is horrible). The quality was bad because someone had video taped at the movie theatres. So, sometimes you see these people walking by or something like that. And the sound is horrible.

I'm sure that the movie is much better than that. Especially if you just rented the DVD and watched it on a Friday night, let's say. But I couldn't wait, I had to watch the movie. The illegal video taped copy was the only one out there.


But there were still some good parts. I'm not really sure why I didn't like it that much. Maybe it was the movie itself or the quality... I'm not saying that you shouldn't watch it but it's probably best for you to wait until the DVD comes out and then maybe rent it. (Or maybe it's already out?)

-VALy, <3

Miles to Go...

7 places I want to go:

• New York City
• England
• France
• Germany
• Denmark
• Russia
• Scotland
  

7 things that help me fall asleep:

• Less thinking
• TV
• Darkness
• Music
• Being tired
• Heat (during the winter) and air conditioning (during the summer)
• Being on airplanes, in cars, and on trains

7 people I want to meet:

• My paternal family
• The Virgins (Wade, Donald, and Nick)
• Blake Lively
• John Lydon
• Coco Chanel
• Bernie Mac
• Natalia Livingston

7 things that keep me up at night:

• Mosquitoes (or any other insects)
• Loud neighbours
• Lights
• Silent moments and then you can hear just about anything
• Thinking a lot
• Movies
• Headaches/ tummy aches

7 foods I love:

• Sushi
• Russian cuisine
• Chinese cuisine
• Crepes and pancakes
• Junk food (cookies, chips, chocolate)
• Lasagna
• Cakes and pies

7 things I wish I could change about myself:

• My (chicken pox) scars
• My acne
• I'd like my hair to be a bit easier to brush (straighter)
• My thoughts (to have a kinder mind, to be more thankful, and less selfish/greedy)
• Me wasting time on the computer for most of the day
• My sight (to have a clearer vision/view, it doesn't need to be 20-20.)
• Me being so fearful

7 things I wish were true:

• Peace (no wars, no racism, no stupid judgments, no diseases, no animal and human abuse, etc)
• Some of the fictional characters from some TV shows and movies
• That each real life event had a happy ending
• That I could help my grandma walk again
• No death
• I wish I knew what I was really good at
• I wish I could be a lot more confident and not as shy
  

7 things that make me sad:

• Death
• Insects
• Nightmares
• Sad documentaries (death, cruelty..)/sad TV shows, movies, stories
• Paralysed people made fun of (and everyone else)
• Drug addicts
• People suffering

I was tagged by Sarah. Now, I don't have anyone to tag so if you come by and you want to do the "7 things" then contact me or you can just post it in the commenting area and then you could tag someone else.

-VALy, <3

Am I a Whistler, Yet?

Yes, yes, fortunately I am.

Well, not completely but I'm definitely getting there. I hadn't googled "How to whistle" since the last time I've posted about whistling in my blog. So, I've decided to give it another chance by trying out different sites. Two links with whistling-help have been visited by me just a few minutes ago:

• The first one in a way helped, but it told me to press my tongue against the roof of my mouth. It worked at first but then it was too uncomfortable.
• The second link, I give credit. I think the steps were more precise and helpful it gave me a choice between pressing my tongue against the roof and/or pressing it against my gums or the back of my bottom teeth.

So you probably guessed right: the second option worked for me much better than the first one.

Now I'm not saying that I'm a pro or even good because every once in a while when I try it's either off or it's just air that's blowing. I could show you in person or on the phone. I'm new at this so it'll take time. Probably lots and lots of time.

They were both associated with wikiHow. I'm going to try to give out less URLs/links because that might've been the case that my previous blog got deleted.

Note: This post is a reply to my second post from this blog.

-VALy, <3

The 3rd Class Meal

Bread and butter, that is.

I'm not really sure if you could even consider it a meal. No, actually I don't know what I was thinking. (It's 11:48 PM and I'm sort of going out of my mind). It is not a meal. Even though it might be for the low class citizens, it shouldn't be.

Now, I don't come from the high class side. I don't think I've ever been on a coach side of the plain. I don't take vacations each summer. I don't eat in restaurants everyday. I don't wear designer clothes. I don't even live in a house.

I'd call myself a 2nd class passenger. Hm, that sort of sounds poor because all I can imagine is the Titanic and they weren't treated as nicely either. Maybe because I said passenger. I think middle class sounds better. At least to me it does.

Okay, anyway I'm supposed to be talking about bread and butter. So, the point of this post was: I like it. I hate jumping to the main point so fast so I'm going to need to type more..

Bread and butter is usually something that people eat when they're hungry and trying to fill themselves up because there's nothing else to eat unless you'd like to surf the trash or eat a rat. Uh, that's getting quite creepy.

So, people sort of look at bread and butter as if it were a trash can or something. I really like it. Sometimes I'd have it with my soup or as toast. It's understandable when people who have been eating only bread and butter for a long time will eventually get sick of it.

I really don't know where I'm going with this. I really wish that I had written this earlier or just tomorrow in the morning because I'm not really sure what I'm trying to get across. But anyway, I won't erase.

Time: 12:05 AM 05/17/09

-VALy, <3

Eat My Shorts!

Here's a long sleeve shirt I begged my mom to give me about 6 years ago. It was actually a birthday gift for her pretty skinny friend (without any offense), she was sort of a fan I guess. But so was I, so I told my mom that I really liked it and I wanted it. She smiled and said "No" at first (I think) but she ended up giving it to me anyway.

Unfortunately, since last year, the shirt no longer fits me.

In grade 5, I wore this to school once and then my teacher called me out of class and said "Put your sweater back on and do not wear this school anymore." and then she sort of gave me a look. It was pretty embarrassing and scary. The reason I thought it would be fine to wear this shirt because one of my classmates wore a t-shirt that had "SEXY ARMY" on it. I wasn't following but I recently noticed that she never got in trouble so I thought if she's not getting in trouble then why won't I wear my shirt.

Some of you might be saying "Well, it's a BUTT!" and I say "Well, that shirt says 'SEXY ARMY' on it" so shouldn't that be just as bad to wear in grade five? I don't know, that's my opinion and I'm not planning on changing my mind.

-VALy, <3

The Mosquitoes are BACK!

Well, looks like the tiny sucking blood monsters are back. I just saw one yesterday at around 9pm on the wall beside my bed and then for the rest of the night I was trying to be still and moved around 10 times less than I normally would. I've always had bad thoughts about mosquitoes even when they weren't around. Each time I think of a mosquito, I have the sound illusion that it's there and then I get all scared.

So, yesterday I saw one that had pretty long legs at first I thought that it was a daddy long legs which was just as scary when I realised that it was a mosquito. I'm not really sure which is scarier to me but mosquitoes can fly and spiders walk pretty fast and that is very creepy. So, I thought "NO! My worst nightmare!". For the first minutes, I was trying to build up as much courage as possible to kill it. But knowing that I do the same thing (run away or just ignore it and become all paranoid) each time I just sat on the floor watching it's every move from the mirror.

Usually, when you're scared of a certain insect someone who isn't as afraid tells you to kill it and not be such a baby about it and then most of the times they say "It's way smaller than you, so don't be afraid. It won't hurt you..". But I can't do that because they do hurt you and they bite and they tickle. People also wonder if I hate them so much isn't easier to kill them. Well, I know that it should be (and I'm not saying that it's easy to kill humans when I hate them, if anything is easy it's probably just hurting them in not such a severe way, though). I don't feel bad for the insects when I hate them but it's just hard because I guess it's just me being afraid.

It ended up going somewhere else and so after about 30 minutes I decided to wear a sweater (to cover my arms) and quietly sat on my bed and just made sure that it wasn't anywhere near me every other second. Then it was time for me to go to bed, secretly, I decided to stay up a little longer. I thought that watching an episode of The Simpsons and Seinfeld would have some sort of ease on me. I've decided to go to bed with the TV on and covered my whole body except my for my face with two blankets. And then each time I would hear a "Bzzzzzz"
around me. But then a few minutes later I fell asleep and my mom came in to my bedroom and I remember that she asked me "Why are you so covered up?" and I said "Mosquitoes" and then she stayed with me but I'm not sure what she said because I was half asleep. The last thing I think that she had said was "I love you" and I sort of whispered the same thing. I thought it was a dream because normally she'd say it in Russian but I knew that it wasn't because I heard someone the TV with the same script/episode that I've seen before. I even remember myself laughing at a point. I felt like she was never going to leave but then she left instead of feeling sad I fully fell asleep. Actually, just this minute I found out that we were at first speaking in Russian and I said "I'm very, very scared," I remember that.

I don't really mind waking up with mosquito bites but I'd never want to get one while I'm looking straight at it. I'd prefer to be asleep. But it's not like I enjoy getting mosquito bites anyway.

So, today when I got home I was trying to find that mosquito and be able to actually kill it. But instead when I sat at the computer a few minutes later I saw it beside my lamp on the carpet. I couldn't believe my eyes, I knew that it would burn the minute that it hit the lamp. I was hoping for that to happen anyway. And so to make sure that it was dead I took the lamp and squished it with the bottom of my lamp.

Here it is, dead and gone.

-VALy, <3

Toilet Paper; Petpeeve

I wouldn't just say that I like toilet paper just because it's pretty much a necessity and you don't really hear anyone talking about toilet paper either. But I will say what really bugs me when it comes to toilet paper.

I HATE it when the roll is put up this way:

(Which is backwards to me)

It annoys me so much that I can't stand it at all. And if I had a choice (meaning that I wouldn't need to go so badly when I need to go) I would leave or probably even walk to another washroom. You might be thinking "Why not just switch the roll to the way I would like it to be?". Well, I'm not really sure but I won't change the toilet paper roll especially since I'm in there for no longer than a minute which is probably at the most. But if I had to stay there for a few hours I would change it. I think that I did switch it to the right way once in a public washroom, it was a few years ago. When this happens at my house I do change it right away. But I really don't get the majority of people or the places that I go to have their toilet paper on backwards. I'm not really sure which way is right or if it actually even matters. Now to half of the people this might be a problem and I completely understand.

I've been pretty negative throughout this whole post so I'm at least going to explain why I don't like the toilet paper roll on backwards. Well, it just looks wrong and it's not because it's a couple of centimeters further than the roll being on frontwards. Hm, okay I guess there isn't really a particular reason. But it just looks wrong and I guess it's just like me not liking the taste and smell of honey. Well, there is actually sort of a little reason for me not liking honey but only Sarah knows that little reason which I realised a while ago. But Sarah, that's not the complete reason you know. I've hated honey ever since just like you hate tomatoes and just like we both hate onions.

That's the way I like my toilet paper placed. ;]

-VALy, <3

April 29th; My Age Revealed

Well, I'm kind of tired of keeping my age a secret. It feels like I was very ashamed of my age, especially when I read my first post on both of my blogs. And I haven't been able to get my previous blog back, yet. To be honest, I don't think I will. It's upsetting, but "Oh, well". I too can't believe that that was just said by me..

Anyways, today is my birthday and I'm officially turning 13 at 10:35 or 11:35 tonight (it's a pretty sort of complicated short story). I'm pretty excited and upset in a way because.. I'm a teenager and no longer a child but I'm still a kid? It feels like it was just yesterday that my mom bought me a book at a clinic and and then it was stolen in just a few hours by a homeless woman at the "6 blocks away" park. That's something I remember from when I was about 4 or 5. I felt very uncomfortable and insecure knowing that I couldn't even leave a book on the slide for less than a minute or two, maybe three.. or four. Yes, my friend and there's probably a lot more of those "It feels like yesterday.." feelings to come as I grow older.

From what I remember, I've always wanted to get to the age of 20 because I would get that feeling that says just one more year and I'll be able to do anything that I wasn't supposed to do. To me that's the age where I'm kind of new but old at the same time. Where I'll be able to make my own choices (even though peers could still come in). But what scares me is College. It's not necessarily the hard work but I'm not sure I really want to discuss this on my blog - well, at least not yet.

Oh, and I wasn't really ashamed of letting others know my age. It was most likely for the safety reasons and I thought that people would just leave my blog (if they ever somehow just sort of ended up here) if they knew my age (I'm sure that's not really being ashamed). So, I've just decided if my age really matters that badly that it's troubling for them to read my blog well then...... "I don't know" but that doesn't really seem to bother me as much anymore.

by Sarah, who made it during class. Thank you!

-VALy, <3

Can I whistle?

No, no, unfortunately I cannot whistle.

And if you have read my previous blog before, then you know that I've googled "How to whistle" more than once. I also promised to my self (sort of, not really) that I would check this site (I no longer have the link) periodically and follow the instructions. The site warned me that it would take a few weeks. But I decided to say that I would follow it anyway. Which I didn't.

And so now I've been thinking about it and I want to learn how to whistle. So, I'm just going to try to find another helpful site that won't admit (if it actually should take a few weeks) so that I'm not as discouraged while I learn.

So wish me luck (the same words I said in my previous blog for the same post) and I'll let you know when I'm an actual whistler.

-VALy, <3

No one said that restarting would be easy

It's been about 2 weeks since I've blogged. It was somewhere at the beginning of April that I tried signing into my blogger account repeatedly and all I got out of it was "The username or password you entered is incorrect.". I actually do remember my password and my username but apparently my blog got deleted for an unknown reason. It's pretty much a long story but I've been trying to get it back ever since I got the bad news and I won't stop trying until one of the Blogger staffs tells me "You no longer have the right to see your blog". Each time I'd tell myself to make a new blog but it kills me just to think about all of my posts and drafts on my previous and first blog and knowing that there's a big chance of me to never see my blog, ever again. So it took me this long to finally put myself together and create a new blog. I'm not over it but I just had so many ideas and thought "Alright, I'll do this for myself and others (if anyone even reads it, I bet not, haha)". Blogging gives me pleasure and it makes me feel good while I'm typing in different posts so even though I'd like more readers or any at all I'm still fine.

So here's just a quick review on why my blog name is "My Little Thoughts". Since I'm pretty young (my age still remains a mystery, well at least for now) I have the impression that no one would want to read my blog. I'm not sure if I still go along with that but I chose to say it anyway because in my previous beloved blog when I first started doing the real blogging my first post was called "Why Am I Here?" and in it was a 3-4 paragraphed explanation and an new entry to my blog. So I think I should at least resume it in a few phrases because I'm not going to write a long post like I normally would. Anyway, the reason for my blog name is due to the number of the many people on earth (which is like 6 or 7 billion) and me being pretty young. Because of that my thoughts might not matter to most of the world so like I said in my previous blog "I'm here to blog whether you like it or not". Well, now that I think about it that's not what I actually said but it was something like that.. I think.

So may the blogging begin!

-VALy, <3